You were so lovely today b! Omg, its still in my eyes, you were just so pretty today dear! Nice, top and bottom, nice bag, you were just.... amazing b! :) Its really nice to see you like this b, you've its just still in my eyes of how the way you looked today dear... Just had to spoil your day i guess... 
My poor dear? I am so sorry dear, i wasn't in a good state last night de, i swear, if i see you message all, i would have come online dear! Omg, i feel so damn bad that i wasn't able to reply you moi! I am sorry dear! I was suppose to be there to make you feel better not make things worse for you love! ;( I just can't be forgiven for what i have done to you moi! Made you so call suffer all alone last night, the time when you needed me, i wasn't there instead i let you suffer... You twitter message, facebook message... call to my sis... As i am typing, i am feeling sorry and feeling upset for leaving you behind alone dear... I am sorry dear, the only time, when i could somehow make things right, i screwed it... I dunno how to say or tell you how much i feel and sorry i am for causing you so much trouble ma, i've just mentally  disturbed you so much moi, :( Damn, i deserved to be punished big i guess... Well, already am, doubt you might wanna talk to me for the next few days, its alright dear, you deserve some time alone, without any trouble, i just feel that you will be probably be better off without me for the few days, who knows maybe longer... Just saying b, cause i have hurt you that much... There is a certain limit where a girl can take a hit and all, you've taken too much pain and hit because of me dear... Really, I just couldn't get mad at you today, though you weren't talking to me and all properly, how the hell is it for me to get angry for you being like that to me, i understand moi! You've gone through a lot moi, really! I just wish i could be by your side and make things good for you, but by today, looking at the way you were talking to me and all, i understand moi! Its alright ma! I was glad to see you, Was so near you, yet felt so far... What else can i do, feel upset, then cry, this is what i know wad moi! What else i know? Its me, something within me, a stupid ridiculous side of me...  Haiz... 

Today, went to meet b in the morning, followed her to school, she did her paper, so called company her back home, from there left to bishan stadium to watch the game, home united vs young lions! Guess who came along, malini  -_-

I was really shocked she was there, idiot, sasi didn't even tell me, if not, i would not have gone la! Really, lucky Pravin and the younger brother was there all the way... But really, sasi told me malini is his best friend, you sure or not dei? Would you just go and hug your best friend, like just put your arms around when she is just watching the match? Put your hand on the other side, poke her, here and there? Be so touchy to your best friend? Why da? Dei, please, she is my ex, i understand...

First understand me da...
1. Past is past, she is just my ex, but dei, please, knowing she is a girl who i use to date, how can you be so touchy to her in front of me da... You dun realize that i am there or do you even feel anything for me dei? Imagine you broke up with uma and i was like her close friend and touchy touchy and all, how would you feel da? Its not the jealous feeling da, its the thoughts that you use to be dating the girl and your best friend is trying for her now... I feel disgusted dei...

2. Do you know whats is true love da? You still can think of uma and talk of being with her and all when you doing this kind of thing da? Why da maccha :(

3. Damn you malini, after the shit you did to me, hurting me so much... HOw can you even talk to me or be so casual seeing me? I didn't wanna ruin the friend/relationship between you and sasi, i kept my mouth shut...

4. Maccha, you did so many things for me da, you aren't just a friend da, you are like my brother to me, but why can't you think awhile maccha? Yes, i know i myself dun think at times before doing anything, My girl, Prithi.M.Nair has all the rights to tell me that, not you da... You dun have the rights da maccha... Though yes you have helped me so much, but recently i have not been telling you things cause there isn't a need to and i dun wan you to be involved in my issues da!

5. FOR THE LAST TIME, IT IS NOT BECAUSE OF YOU THAT ME AND PRITHI GOT TOGETHER ALRIGHT, I BELIEVE IN FAITH AND ITS FAITH PLEASE, NOT YOU DA :(

Both of you were just disgusting, even pravin agreed to it, "how can he like do this to your ex la..." he asking me this sasi, your blood brother... :( I dunno da! Thanks for everything da! A good lesson da! Why am i even allow to get take this kind of shit all...

If i were to not exist, maybe, many souls would be better off without me! I dun need to get hurt nor be a burden to anyone, simply useless la, exam do like shit, bike also fail, friends not really reliable, the only thing that makes me happy and smile is being with my Prithi, but that also i am blowing it... Hmm, some day la! Gonna leave with it la! Felt as though i lost everything, i think sooner or later, soccer also gonna kenna something big.... Hopeless la I, no good for nothing one...

What have i achieved or made something right??? Doubt there is an answer to this... ;(