COOKIE!!!! hehe! :)
When was the last time i even called baby cookie? Hmm... Practically so long... You know that word cookie reminds me of those times when i use to like keep admiring the small things when cookie did! Hahas! I still remember, every night, i will ensure parents all asleep then i will Skype with cookie, without her knowing, i will keep admiring the things she do! There was once i remember this, this really affected me so much, the first time i saw her crying over skype when i think she was talking about her grandpa, saying she missed him so much! That was the first time i saw her crying, believe it or not, at that point of time, i was starting to like cookie, but just that i was hiding my feelings for her and secretly blogging about her... If it was just a friend, i would ask her to cheer up and all, but when the moment she cried, i really just stoned, i was really upset, wishing i could be there right now, give her my shoulder to cry on... This was my thought, but some what rather, i was still trying to cheer her up, but well... I just felt so weird when i saw her crying... Never i have felt such a way when my other girl friends cried over things but when cookie did... I realized i do have something for her... 

Who would have thought that i would sometimes be a cause to hurt her or ruin her days presently... Sometimes, as much as i wish i could give her so much of happiness and make her laugh or smile always, i fail to do so... Human beings go have to go through ups and downs which also means they also have to face bad times to... But being the cause of it, simply means you're just hurting that person badly... I did! Sometimes, i don't realize how much i do hurt cookie when i am with her even sometimes when i am not with her... 

I used to always Skype with Sunida when she was in china and in Philippines but that was all in a friendly manner, i didn't like have this feeling for her or anything... Honestly, she isn't a girlfriend material to me either! So yeah... After that, i took a break from skype and finally i got a chance again to use it because of cookie! 

How did i come with the name cookie? Oh yeah, she like cookie monster so much... So i was thinking, at that point of time, i don't think she knew anything about my blog... Cause also, while we both were skyping also, at the same time, without her knowing i will blog as well... Like while talking to her, i will just be typing and she will just be talking and all... HEHE! :) When i knew she liked cookie monster so much, i decided to give her a nick name cookie... 
I started already liking her already... But you know, the feeling of you liking the girl and not to know whether to tell her or not is really a pain in the ass you know!!! My gawd, after the Pasir Ris incident where we were at the beach and all... After that, we were still skyping... I swear to god, you know how many times i wanted to ask her this question or tell her this?
"Eh, i just wanted to ask ah? What you think of me?..."
This all i didn't wanna tell cookie, a bit pai seh you know... I didn't tell cookie this till now... hehe! :)
My first thought, if i were to ask her about this, i was afraid that she might think that i might want to hit on her or something... I was trying my best to maintain along the way... I was really trying hard...

How long can i guy keep his feeling away from the girl... Really? I couldn't wait... That's when i felt that i should tell her quick? But also to think of it, the moment when we were at AMK the macs, playground there, there were a couple of times where i actually wanted to tell cookie how i felt...
1. At the macs, outside while sitting down, i wanted to tell her, after glancing around for glove, when we decided to sit at Macs...
2. At the time, when we were playing swing, after playing we were kinda tired and sitting down, side by side... 
3. While walking towards the amk bus stop, along the way, hoping i could voice something out...

You see... Even then i didn't say anything... I remember i felt kinda dizzy and all, so cookie was so nice, she followed me back to amk station, that was another time... At this point, if only i didn't ask cookie to follow me to yck, i bet things might have been different...

Yes she followed....
4. I could have also told her while she was with me in mrt towards yck...
After reaching yck, she waking with me to school, along the way she had to go to orchard...
5. Even while walking towards school, half way, i could have told her...

Screw it, i just follow her to orchard...
This part only... From Yck to Orchard, quite long right!!!! I was just in front of her talking, yet, something came up in my mind, telling... "GIRI, TELL HER!!! DON'T WASTE THIS CHANCE..." this was all in my head, that was when nearing orchard then i opened my mouth and yeah... That's when i told her that i like her... Face to face at orchard mrt station!!! Till now, i can never forget, sitting opposite, face to face... 

"Don't care what she thinks, just tell her how you feel about her, tell her how much she has disturbed you in your mind and heart... You have to sleep peacefully today..."

Trust me, there were days where i could not sleep because of her... Its usual for someone to be in love and at times not sleep because you will never know what if she rejects you nor she does not feel for you... I went through this fears while i was in love with cookie... Those weren't just memories, something beyond...

More to come... XOXO! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH COOKIE!!!