Sometimes, it's not because you are worried about something or maybe like worried if you might lose it, but it's people who might annoy the person it people you love. Ensuring even a small problem shouldn't affect them... Yes, you can tell, " did I say it's a problem or did I even ask you to do something...?" 

You don't really need to ask or tell... But it's just the affection you have for the person, sometimes even too much if affection... It might not make any sense of what I say, just think a bit deeper... Might sound as though I'm contradicting myself or even it muggy not make any sense but it does...

Go with the flow, go with the flow, go with the flow, damn yes I'm going with the flow... Guess, I've got to ensure I really go on with the flow, like literally 100%...

You see, I've learn many things along the path I am right now, give and take, tolerance level, patience level, learning how to understand situations, ensure your actions doesn't cause any problem to others, most importantly, when you're in love with someone deeply and truly, you wouldn't wanna leave the person. Even you might not be too sure if you might end up with the person you love, but NO HARM FIGHTING FOR IT...

Till this moment, I'm in love with this girl, she drives me crazy at times, but I love the way she is, she is just crazy, but I love the way she is... Deeply and truly, I would say the very first girl who made me fall in love with her so much... The first girl I chase after... Why would I wanna leave or would be that easy for me to move on, she said this so simply... Haiz... ;(

I got hooked to this song big time... The minute dear left the bus, from that moment, i searched for this song and all the way till i reach home, i was hearing this back to back, its just making me dance and dance... I was like literally shaking my head in the MRT... hahas! I was keen to watch the movie, and yes, am watching it right now.... Half way through...

So far, something things that i have learnt, " Nothing is worse in the world than the feeling of love...", "... you can never know what a girl wants, especially the guy would never know... but the one things a girl would desire would be someone who loves her like no one does..." Half way through the movie, i am already getting emotional and all... Its so nice to watch, the love scenes... Dearie, i am watching this, i wished you were beside me right now....

Well, today, went to meet dearie, but she was late, poor Dear! Waited 2 hours, but nvm, she was tired... Went to amk, had chicken rice and cheese fries... Dear, didn't like the chicken rice, worse, she felt uneasy... :( Had to go school, she went to school from there... Sorry i could not follow you sweetheart... DAmn, had 2 quizes, some how did my best, went to TP straight after school, met dear, she was so hungry, so sorry to keep you awaiting dear... She had SUBWAY! yum yum! After that, sent her home and then went back home... 

Gonna continue watching the movie, ohhhhh, dearie bought a bracelet and a necklace! Will post it here soon! :)

First day at work together.... 

Awesome day todayyyyyyy....
Hopefully dear, had fun tooo at... WORK!!!
Its something new and different to me today, yes, have tried studying together and doing various activities together, but have not tried working today! And yes, it was fun today! hahas! I am so used to texting dear while i am work, plus this time, she is with me, like literally right beside me, i was barely even using my phone today! Clearly shows that i only use my phone to check text from dear, or to text dear only! hehe! :P Dun ask why all... ITs like that! I really enjoyed my day at work today with dear... I hope i can teach dear, more things and who knows she might even be better in this work than me... But judging by today, wahhh... Started doing drinks, plus handling cashier things as well, really not bad la! Comparing to the time when i was learning, super fast... Except for the part when gonna start work, like going to work, hopefully can go early this time, especially if the kitchen staff had to wait for me, Damn, he was PMSing, What the hell... Like had milk, followed by tea drink and a yogurt drink, wahhh, one short, afraid might get tummy pain, but was fine! hehe! Kidding ah dear, looking forward to work with you more dear, i really wanna teach you more things soon! You dun have to worry about anything alright, as long i am around with you, i will do my best to make sure you dun have difficulty and you enjoy working alright dear...
XOXO!

Its true sometimes, people never change, and no matter what happens, they never learn from the mistakes they made... Its like they say, if you have the guilt that you killed someone, but it wasn't intentionally, but you were the cause of that person's death, sitting near by the sea or the beach, is not gonna clear your sins you have done, but maybe by doing something... Making a difference, in anything... I got this from a dialogue in the movie 'Ranjana', hehe! I'm not so the philosophy type of person laaaa... Blogging now, what ever its in my mind and heart...
I have so affectionate to anyone besides my parents... There was once when my mother went off to Japan, for a month, i terribly missed her so much... I kept seeing her photo, talking to her image... Yeah yeah yeah, its sounds as though its from movie like that, hey come on, usually movie scenes all come from people's daily life story also right!!! I missed her so much, i always cry... I was like about 13 i guess... I am a mother's boy, usually son is mother, daughter is father, I SAID USUALLY, not always... So, when my dad was away to New Delhi, for a week, i though i won't miss him, but there was a day, i think the 3rd day when he was away, there was a call from him, my mother was talking and i did as well, suddenly i burst into tears... I was crying on my mother's lap, this was when i was like 15 i guess! My sis, hehe! I missed her so much also, gawd... I didn't cry all, the annoying one! hehe! But i missed her so much, when she was away to china for like a week... I understand that usually i tend to miss family members when they all are away... Not only me, its usual for all families... 
But when i was away from cambodia... The only person i really missed so much was Prithi. Who is she to me? I just met her like last year? Why should i feel this way towards her... The next person i showed so much love after my mother was her... I love her so much... NOT LOVED  but LOVE her so much... I still do!!! 
Today, in amk, while going up the escalator, i saw a couple, a chinese one, i wonder if prithi saw as well, i doubt so, they were so close to each other, i was having my eyes on them, i was just stoning just for a few seconds... 
I'm really missing those times, those moments that we were so close, everytime we buy something, you would always hold my hands, give me a kiss... so many things, when walking, putting my hand around your waist...
Hey, its just my thoughts and feelings, things do take time, i can never deny that... She told me that we can never be together again and all, as much as i am typing write now, i am feeling damn upset about it upon hearing such from her, hey, certain things i cannot accept, especially when someone or something means so much to me... I used to mean much to her... But my actions/stupidity, ruined it, in fact, i am still upset for being the cause for her to throw away the gift she got me, i swear, am damn upset... MY GAWD!!! I love to receive gifts from my loved ones, especially from the girl i love, means SO MUCH TO ME!!! I ruined it... i cannot forget it... Till this moment, i am thinking about it again and again, plus 3 digit... ;( Makes me wanna cry, all her hard work saving that much, within just a snap, i ruined, i bloody ruined it!!! Fuck, i swear am feeling depressed her...
Haiz... I dun wanna usually end my post being sad and all, the other thing that i am looking forward is, dear working with me... :) That's making me slightly better, this something that we have never done together before... Am excited!!! See you dearie!!!

Well, today, invited dear to come over, i wanted to cook for her, and yes i did! Before i come to that, yesterday night, i already planned what i wanna do for her, so i called mother and then went to NTUC, bought certain things and yes, the main ingredient was not there, and yeah! Bought, pasta, vege and some other important things needed for cooking, but i could not get sour cream and seasonings, well i can't expect much from NTUC, hahas! Yesterday, there was an overnight at school, i missed it, was really unwell, dammit! Saw the images in instagram, i missed quite a number of fun there! :( 

As for today, morning, woke up at like 9, went to NTUC to buy chicken, and also some coriander... hehe! Morning, already so damn pack... I had couple of people looking at me, like honestly, what's wrong, didn't see a young teen going for grocery shopping in the morning, WTH... And so, bought the necessary items and went back home... IT turned out to be quite well... Damn, should have taken images, i dunno why, i was sooo into preparing it well, but i forgot to take an image of my cooking, usually i would take picture of it... I dunno why ah... SO did, chicken pasta, vege soup and some stir-fried chicken... It was good, dear, liked it, glad to hear... Fed her the food i did, asked her to sleep awhile, i had to make sure she was alright, she managed to finish my pasta, we were watching movie in the room, were watching 'Cocktail', didn't wanna know the ending part... After that, sent her home, then went back home after sending her... Once reached home, was in bed... Now skyping... and yeah, not really that well either, running nose this time.... 

I dun feel too good! Feel so distanced! Why am i feeling this way, i am not even thinking about it, is your actions? I dunno! :( Still and still, going with the flow...

I don't know what to say or tell, Such a jerk i have been! Tasted the medicine, i know how it feels! i really felt it! Pain, hurt, misery, lies, fake, untruth, these words that will describe me... I have hurt you so much and yes... I know how it feels, felt it, i swear its so unbearable... Even now will skyping and also at the same time, i am tearing, its really unbearable... I hurt you so much and i can like just keep saying this again and again... This post that i am posting right now is gonna make me remember the jerk i was.... Just to remember it, i am gonna underline this entire post! I HAVE HURT YOU SO MUCH, SO MUCH... MY GOD! BABY!!! 
IT HURTS SO MUCH DEAR... I FEEL IT SO MUCH DE! I FEEL IT SO MUCH... SO MUCH PAIN, JUST FOR ONCE, I FEEL THIS WAY, I NEARLY JUST WANNA DIE DE! BUT FOR MANY TIMES, I HAVE HURT YOU SO BADLY... EVERY TIME I SAY THAT I WANNA MAKE THINGS BETTER AND ALL, IN THE END, I END UP HURTING YOU, I DUN WANNA SAY, I WANNA DO... I AM NOT GONNA SAY ANYTHING MUCH TODAY... BUT MY ACTIONS WILL PROVE THAT I HAVE CHANGED... 

B, I AM SO SORRY FOR HURTING YOU DEAR... ITS GONNA BE TOUGH AS YOU HAVE QUIZES AND ALL, ITS GONNA BE VERY HARD, I KNOW YOU'RE STRESSED OUT AND ALL... AM HERE D, I WILL DO MY LEVEL BEST TO HELP, I DUN WANNA BE THE CAUSE FOR ANOTHER FLUNK... I DON'T WAN...

AS FOR TODAY, WAHHHH... I WAS LATE FOR WORK, SUPPOSE TO START AT 8, in the end went late like 9, made vaisha wait as well. haiz... Sorry da maccha! yesterday also event, today also event, some sony camera event... 3 sessions, 20 plus people each, yesterday i did 2 sessions, today, i did the whole day on top, nearly died, i kept falling asleep... Plus i am having flu, haiz... Damn la! But some how, today just passed... So glad, tmrw school dammit!!! Haiz... 

Damn school la! walao!!! I have to attend school, no choice... :( 

Am alone now, at TP, waiting for prithi lab to be over, its a friday, a cold friday, raining cats and dogs, its do random of me using such a phrase, but who cares la! Whenever i blog, is either i feel down or maybe about how i feel or like i am damn bored, honestly, right now, this instant, am feeling damn upset and hurt, i wonder how am i gonna go through this day... Really! I just cried, last night also i cried, was so painful... "...you are so damn dumb, now you know why we broke up right...", i am right now not pin pointing anything, something i am having in my heart right now, that i wanna just spill it out by blogging about... So please, dun say like i didn't say anything or what dear... PLease! 

I already told you i cannot take you as a friend, every time i kiss you, i hold your hands, always thinking, AS MY GIRLFRIEND, i wonder how is it so simple for you to just say friends dear! :( I deserve such, for how much i have hurt you, b, please, dun hurt me to let me taste the same thing dear... I am not as strong as you baby! :( ;( Baby, i sincerely and truly love you baby! I have never or can never imagine any girl with you in my heart and mind dear, and yet, why sometimes you ask me like... " You sure you love me? something like that, not really exact words dear, something like that...

With the flow, with the flow, with the flow... Baby, i am going with the flow baby! :( I dun wanna like accept the fact that we will eventually like together all this dear... B, i miss all those times dear... Missing a lot, some times i just wanna write it in a letter and give you dear... Many things i wanna tell and talk about, a day can never be enough to talk dear... Might seem as though i like nothing to talk... I know dear... I am sorry! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DEAR, times it hurts me so much that like, i also wanna be loved, i tend to get jealous of other couples, how i wish i can be loved the same as well! B, I wan us to be happy, till now also, but b, now feel like so pain dear... 

Prithi, i love you so much dear! WHat must i do? What must i do? 
What else should i do to make you feel the same way? AM i over doing it? You wan me to distance myself or something dear? You wan me not stalk you or anything, give you privacy and all, i will dear... I talk like a best friend to you also what baby! At the same time, i show my love for you as well, think about my actions with you, would i do things to a normal friend, B please please please, i am not like how to say, do that and kuthi kamikeran the things i did for you and all dear, no way! BUt b, whenever you ask me the question, " Do you love me?' baby, i will say yes, at the same times, think of the things i do as well dear! 

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I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b!
I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b!
I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b! I love you b!...

I can keep going on dear, but in the end, will you believe me that i love you dear? ;( Believe me dear! Please, dun doubt my love for you! :(

Hehe! Using baby lappy now, i was seeing her web tab, and say this song above is really so nice to hear!! hehe! I am gonna download this soon and also listen to other Demi Lovato songs and see if nice a not! :)

Was suppose to meet dear in the morning, so that we can go for the interview and also have lunch together, but in the end, plan changed... hahas! Hey, come on, somethings just happen, and yeah! I can't get mad or anything, i was just tired, cause game yesterday, some more weather like so cold and raining! Speaking of yesterday, yes....

WE WON!!!! NYP 3 RP1! We finished 3rd in POLITE!!!

Some memories its gonna be to me yeah! Out of the 3 years i have been in NYP, a special moment that i wanna talk about! Team mates were there motivating and also, my hard work of course... But beyond all this, there was someone i really wanna thank and show my appreciation to... Prithi! Baby! Honey! My sweetheart!!!

I don't need to exaggerate things or say things to please people nor say to just make anyone happy! But, baby, if it wasn't for you, i would not have achieved this much baby! I have never pushed myself this hard, as in been years the last time i pushed myself, last time was like during my primary school days where i fought so hard for the championships in Rugby Nationals! Those were times where i pushed my ass off so much! After so long, taking your words so seriously and here i am! Achieving something... Thanks baby! Thank you so much! You are so special to me and you mean that much to me, times where i can never just say in words and i could just type it out for you to read! hahas! Amazing dear, thinking of what i have achieved in soccer, still surprises me...

Just finished watching "Dostana", Nice movie la, i gotta admit, GAY SHIT!!! hehe! I reallt admire the love scenes... There was a scene where i like to talk about, in fact a song dear... Just watch and listen to this song dear...

I wonder if you can see it or not dear, but if you were to see, the 2 guys, just somehow just fell in love, being with her and every moment to them with her were just so happening to them... Reminds me of the times when i was with you dear, the second and third meeting, hehe! Times at Pasir ris, cycling.... times at Toa Payoh, Times at AMK... It was just normal meetings for you dear... But i feel in love through those times dear... Being with you, just by spending my minutes with you... Just simply amazing dear... Especially, the time we had in the beach... PLaying sand, splashing water at each other... hehe! :P Awww... baby! Its amazing dear... 

Gonna collect my medal later, doubt you can be with my to see it! Its alright dear, that's not just my medal dear, it's our medal! :) 

Tired, wahhh... hahas! Today early morning, have soccer training! Wahh... 7 o'clock... all the way till 9 plus, my gawd! Damn tiring laaa! After that. had to rush all the way to work, working all the way till 6 but in the end, working till 5, cause... hehe! :P
Well, i woke up in the morning, really damn tired... Haiz! 
Dear, i know how much upset you are regarding the run dearie! Please baby, just because we could not participate or anything, that does not mean that you are cursed or whats so ever d! Why must you blame yourself such that it is never your fault dear! What could you have done? I feel gulity, what if i have had the money earlier, maybe we could have signed up for the run... At this point of time, i should be by your side, trying to make you feel better, but all i can do right now, is just type... honey, We were just unfortunate that we could no go dear... I know its gonna be hard for you to digest, but sorry to say dear, we have to....
cheer up dear... Dun think about it too much ma....

8 NOVEMBER 2013 <3

Hey dear, 

Looking beautiful dear, really! Idiot, i complement you then you still ask or tell "Yeah right..." Believe me dear, i dun Aama Samy all de! Please ah! Script ah sweets! No script or speech all for what i am telling you now d, just coming from the bottom of my heart, wonder if it makes sense or not, still just gonna tell it! 

B, you look so lovely today ma! Every guy, would always wanna bring his girl to the temple, like get blessings all, its something that guys would want to to for their girlfriends, a something that i wanna do, plus in tradition clothes as well... Today, you were in traditional clothes, something that i have never seen you in before ma! I always look at people around me... Remember the Akka we saw in the MRT, wearing blue saree, i immediately was thinking of you in it and the guy she met as me, we both meeting in traditional clothes... Some thoughts dear, really, some fantasy also can say, hehe! I am really sorry that you could not go out on that day, when i was out and you at home due to your parents fighting and all... I really felt bad ma! I really wanted you to follow me today, wear like as though it was deepavali today! It was to me ma! I have never done such before, really this is my first time dear... Really, amazing b! Really really amazing, its just an outing you can say, but i dunno why this is so special to me! Silly me i know! :) Went to Sunida place, then ate togther, sitting side by side in someone house, in the hall, i still wondering if this is really true or not! Thanks for following me baby! Really! Whatever you said during the outing we had just now to Sunida place, is all in my mind ma! Just one think to say ma, i am going with the flow ma, but i can never, i MEAN NEVER hide my emotions and feelings towards you dear... I love you always! Ask me many times dear? Ask! Just 4 words, " I STILL LOVE YOU"... You are having a tough time, being confused and all! I am working on things as well dear, you dun have to stress anything about anything, am always with you....

Baby, looking gorgeous ahhhhhh!!!

NYP 2 SP 0 ...

Awesome much, 3 red cards and 2 goals in the entire game, hahas! :P Played my best game, awesome shit, just one more game to go, just one more game... AGainst RP! and that's why, no more POLITE!!! 
WELL, today kinda overslept yeah! Morning already bang boom with cookie! hahas! :P Went to hougang and waited for d, and yes, after that, went with her to school, bought her milk tea and also tori chicken... I had chicken rice! Lucky i had rice, had to go off early, was getting late for game la! Sorry dear, could not stay with you throughout, am so sorry dear! I felt so bad, but i just had no choice... :( 
Girls game got postponed, i though ours also, but in the end, we started game at like 8, so yeah, ended at 10 plus only... Before game, i was freaking cold, damn cold, afraid i might get cramps here and there, took the deep heat and rubbed so much on my leg, wahhhh, damn shiok the feeling, hehe! Burning sensation la! hehe! I like... :)
Game ended... Went back home after that, no skyping with d and blogging now, :P lalalalas!

A new month and a new beginning i guess... Wonder how long has it been since i have blogged, hahas! Many things, to say and tell! Well, not gonna say much, only can say what i can remember and what i can think of... Eh, same meaning right! hehe! :P Well, for a change, i gonna give a heading and talk about it yeah!

Soccer

POLITE ( Poly and ITE..) competition has started for me! NYP soccer... Well, what can i say about it ahhh... Haiz! So far, played 3 games already, played all 3 games as well, in fact full games, i dunno why am i stressing the part full games, ohhh... Maybe because i didn't expect myself to play full games. 3 years in NYP, have been representing my school for soccer for the past 3 years, including this year as well... Year 1 was a crucial point went as a ordinary player, i managed to play first 11, with the likes of prime league players as well, playing along side with them is no joke, honestly... 2nd year, not much, was damn slack in a way laaa! Haiz! For both POLITE AND IVP.... This year, have pushed myself to the extend i am even playing a different position as well, hahas! This is a big turning point for me, i really wanna thank my baby! I dun need to thank her for no reason but truthfully, she was my reason to push myself and yet am still doing... She is the sole reason, till now, everyone thinks its my own perseverance and what so ever la... BUT NOOOO... My girlfriend is behind it, thanks baby! 2 more games to go, both also home games, wanna prove something here.... :)

School

School has started as well, damn lepak ah! hahas! 3 days school in a week, more time to rest, study and also time with baby! ;) hehe! :P

Deepavali was just yesterday i guess, by right was today, but dunno what la... I no mood for it, thought went to granny, both granny places, got money, got blessings and yeah! Thats about it! Really no mood, after that, had to go to work place to collect the shop key cause today i had to do opening... Today did opening, wah, alone some more, i had to be there early la! Wahhh, Damn tired la!!! Was not so pack or anything, just me and boss running the shift, after 3 plus only then the crowd came dammit! I was suppose to end on time, but in the end, i had leave a bit later... Cause got new girl some more! Haiz...  I had training today, but too bad i had to work, cause give schedule already... Plus, Sasi asked me to follow him to meet uma, i am like, hmmm, should i, cause i also nothing to do, but in the end didn't go, hehe! Had an awesome time with baby! :) Send her home but was late to be at home! :) Had to take cab, no choice! haiz... hehe! :P OINK!!!

A year with baby! :) YESSSS!!! (01/11/2012...)
XOXOXOXOXOX!

Hmmm... WHat else can i think of... Oh baby, has a new job, working at triumph, hahas! :P She is working at Citysquare mall, hehe! :P Not bad sia! Today i went there, got so many things i can buy and all! :P