To be honest, i hate one word reply yeah! I dun know why! It shows me like you either not interested to talk or not happy or something! I was texting cookie and all! I went to asleep and woke up so her text, "LOL"! Damn pissed sia! I mean, i rather you tell me if you're busy or text you later or something and all! I damn pissed and grumpy sia! I told her "you dun wan text or busy with something say la! I hate one word text!" She then replied, "Sorry la dei, i was watching match, relax, dun over react" I so brought things down upon my action damn it!!! I've been lately thinking a lot! Tmrw game!!!! THAT'S WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT!!!! I showed anger to my sis and mum just now some more! God!!! Now cookie! I really didn't sound that mad! But trust me, that could have annoyed her!!! God, this is so not me sia! The worse feeling when you wake up, and you expect someone to reply, i dun know something nice, and simply just LOL! Sorry la! I like that ma! Damn! Feeling damn guilty sia!!! I wonder what have she been thinking now sia! FUCK LA!!!

....... I am just feeling down now yeah! My game just kinda ended! The think, I know I've been dropped from the first team selection yeah! It's kinda obvious already! I didn't get to play the whole game and I am simply feeling super down! I didn't expect that there will be a game first place!!! I've lost my mood and my position! Never in my life have j played as a benchwarmer and for the first time, it has happened to me!! J worked hard, is this what I get?! I am not feeling mad Sia! Just sad!!! Damn sad!!! I was nearly gonna tear! It's that much love I have for this game!!! If there's anything else I would tear besides for love would be soccer!!! My passion! It's a legacy I carry, actually got 2 la! Other one is dance!!! I am just hoping for the best to happen for me Sia! As in, I dun wanna think much! I'll prove the coach made a wrong mistake. I might seem worrying too much!! Buts its true! Before training? I saw chubby!!! She seemed damn down Sia! She was kinda upset that she couldn't make it to the first team squad Sia! For frisbee yeah! She was telling that the coach didn't trust her and all! She was feeling so down! I could just feel her Sia! Honestly, she has been spending a lot of time in frisbee and is this what she gets in return!! I can't say much, I didn't see her play and all la! I'm just hoping for the best for her yeah! Well, hope to see things go well for me!!! Cookie hasn't replied me, feeling strange! I'll just wait then! Hopefully, pundehs dun chat ah! Pls la! Sorry ah! No offence!!! Hehe! Joking la!!!! Hehehehehe

Cookie woke up late and was unwell! I just wished I had a motorcycle now, so that I can see her whenever I want yeah! I was having a random thought what would I be doing for her when I was at home with her! Dun think wrong ah!
For instance, I'll let her sleep and then wake her up in the early afternoon like that, give get breakfast! She'll surely sleep late and all! So I rather give her a heavy half breakfast and lunch! Hahhahs, prepare it for her in the table, so that she can shower and come and come to eat yeah! Who needs a maid, when I can do things for her!!!
I didn't realise I might think until this extend! The question is do I like her?! I am kinda sure that I might continue this stuff and all with another girl if cookie isn't for me!!! Not being negative and all! This is what I've said for Malini too! In the end, things didn't work! At times, I prefer having my memory erased!!! So that I can start things again!!! It's always hard to predict what girls want and all! But, I just realised I've never knew cookie this much!!!
Can't get mad!
Can't stop thinking of her every minute!
Can't be much happier being with her!!!
Can't stop talking to her even for a while if I had the chance!
There are so many can't (s)!!!!!!!
It's only been like 3-4 months so far! I just wish she dun get bore of me!!! She is different! Of course she is different to me! I asked Sasi if he still like uma! He say " he doesn't know" ! " I enjoy being with and her company all da" this is what he said! I'll say the same thing! But, not just her company, there are more! Some things are just can't be told unless you're on their shoes and realise it yeah! Hahhas! It's a fact and the truth!
Last polite, I was having MALINI issues and this polite, I am afraid of having cookie issues! God damn it!!! I have to keep my head in the game!!!! God damn it!!!! Hahahahahas!!! Worse, going cookie school for a game as well! Shitty sia! I wonder will she be a distraction or a boast?????

Woke up early! Am going work today! Feeling rather kinda shitty! Working till 10 plus! Yet, still wondering, I thought of seeing her, she texted and said feel like seeing me! It just happens so fast! I didn't expect this! Am not thinking about the part where she wanted to see me or something! Curious whether Sasi have said something or not!!! Seriously crazy sia I! Hahahahahas. Webcamed with her for like 2 hours plus, was rather speechless! To be honest, I was freaking tired And wanted to really see her!!!! A bit drama I know, it's a fact la! Wth!!!! She was talking about like, her drawing, most of the times being goofy and funny!!! Like I said earlier! That's something I love Watching! She was teaching me how to be annoying ah! Cause she always wanna pick fight, as in, not so serious fights and all la!!! Hahhas! Never been mad with her, maybe once, not to the extent of letting her know! Damn! Gonna work soon! See if can update anything!

~~~Cheers! ~~~

We both are webcaming now!!! God, thank you so much! You've heard me fast! Finally seen cookie :) I am feeling grateful to you! Thanks!!!! <3

A video for a change guys! hahas :P Sorry if it sounds weird or lame ah :P

 

 

I cut the video half way sia! hahas :P MOre videos to be shown sooner! Save time sia! hahas :P

Bastard Watching porn at Wendy's!!!!!

Come To Me Darling

i'll bring all the stars,
i've placed them
in your steps
just come to me once
and i want ask anything of you

dont let me drown in weeps like this
keep me in your eyes
i want to live in your heart
or else i dont want to live

CHORUS
come to me darling
come to me darling
come to me darling
come to me darling
come to me darling
come to me darling
come to me darling
come to me darling

after giving promises you fight and walk away
we didnt even talk completely
i dont want to live sitting alone
without you, queen, nothing feels good
in your love i'll become reckless
color me in your colors
i want to live in your heart
or else i dont want to live

CHORUS

how could you forget
all our happy times
tell me once why did you leave in a rage
your memory haunts me
oh, i dont get any peace
come once

CHORUS

No offence, this Hindi song has been translated to English! I always get reminded of cookie!!!!
With so much feelings within me of her, I still can't believe how can I still talk to her normally man!!! It really feels shirty for me :( is it the end?! :(

Very first talk with cookie was at 26 June 2012!!! :)

"Hey. Sorry. But you know me how?" This was what she asked me!!! hahas!
First outing, was went to watch movie!!!! :) Was kinda awkward though and i still kinda thought that i forced her out though she was tired yeah :(

Second, Went to meet cookie while she was having her lunch break yeah :) We were eating at Mac, was like with her for quite long to give her jacket since thshe was cold!!! It was on the first day of the chalet!!! Went to meet her before going training! hahas!!!

Third, it was the day, when i was having chalet, third day i think, called her! Went for cycling and yeah! One of my favourite moments i would say! the part when i was alone with you at the beach yeah!!! :P  

Fourth! The time when i was spending time with you at AMK!!! Went to buy gloves for your friend, in the end did not buy ah! Went to playground there, played swing and all! Then followed you all the way to orchard!!! IT was kinda chaotic! hehe! The day i told you when i had feelings for you :)

5th! She came to meet me before going training! Though it was a short while, it was kinda nice and sweet of her!!! Had a kinder bueno!!! :P

Eh jacky, just because people pick on you, it does not mean that i have to also ok!!! Think first, if they pick on you means, there must be something wrong with you or you must have done something wrong! Where got people just wanna find trouble with you, you tell me!!! You wanna prove you good at fighting, dun just talk, go and punch or something!!! Dun just stare as if you wanna do something but you dun! Look man! I dun mean any stuff i say to you and all! I dun even have any reasons to hate you! But you think you big shot ah! I am sorry man!! You're not!!! If i have some how was at fault, which i dun think i am not, i am sorry, i forgive!!!

BUT!!!! Pls ah! I seeking forgiveness is not because i fear you but our class is very united and i dun wan our nonsense to affect that you understand!!! Dun take me for granted man! Really, you think i pussy all! Dun say behind me, come my face say la bro!!! Then you prove me your manliness to me ah bro! Understand!!!!!

Now, hahas! Whats up! hehe :) Missed school sia today, woke up late! Damn tired sia! My school starts at 8 i woke up at like 945 sia! :) hehe! Damn tired liao! So meet the others for lunch! Also, skipped GSM sia! I alone can say ah! MY WHOLE CLASS skipped sia! Except for a few la! hehe :P Best! We went to Ang Mo Kio KFC!! Makan there! We meaning! The Pundehs! WELCOME TO THE PUNDEH CLUB "JULIA" :) hahas! SO it like, me, pei yi, mummy ( Simin ) Yun jia, Joel and Julia! :) hehe! ;) the others were eating at Istens yeah! :) After that they joined us and then lepak at there for like 2 hours plus ah! Thats where me and Jacob fought! hahas! After that, went to buy Koi! Joel and Yun jia also! Others followed!!! :) AFTER SO LONG SIA! YUM YUM! :) Then, the pundehs went to the mac to lepak!!! Until 7-8 plus yeah! After that went back home! SO MUCH FUN WITH THE PUNDEHS!!! REALLY ENJOYED YEAH :)

Cookie was kinda pissed! I dun know why yeah! Can't help it! She just means to me that much that i can't help it then to be dumb at times! hehe! I dunno did i phrase it right yeah :) I kinda miss her! At times, i wanna just tell her how much i feel about her! But, i keep feeling that i might seem like the typical guys and all! I wanna break it soon sia to her!!! Am not at a losing side! But, i rather hear something than to feel this way! Just finished runnig sis! AWESOME WORKOUT! :) hahahahahsa! :P

Woke up at 7 plus sia! Second day of school!!! Damn it! hahas! Anyway, had maths for 2 hours and damn, Jacob annyoing sia! hehe :) What dochee piggy bank thingy!!! Crab sia! hahahs! After that, went to meet the Pundehs ( Mummy, Pei Yi, Yun Jia & Joel ) for lunch yeah! hahahs :) After that had 5 hours of class!!! I had good time with my friends at the canteen sia! Though we had class! We were lepaking sia! hahas :P Best times yeah!!! I wish to have those timing again!

Before school end, i went to meet cookie!!! OMG!!! Was so happy sia! But i emotions like, didnt show it and all! hahas! I was just normal meeting her and she also la! I mean, i dunno how she was feeling and all la! But i was happy, i was with her like 10-15 mins! As though it was kinda long! hehe! She gave me kinda bueno chocalate sia! Thats really sweet of you honey! hahas :P After that, she took the bus to her school for training ah! After that was texting her and all la! I randomly asked cookie, what would i get if i win the game, she told me tell her la! anything she say i guess! hahas :P Then, I asked her, if i win, you must spend the entire day with me yeah :) I DUNNO WHAT I WAS THINKING SIA! Dun ask!!! hahas! She said this, "expected, hahas" I was like, ok! I really nothing to say sia! At time, i had to be careful with what i talk to her sia! I mean, she thinks me as a friend i guess! I shall still maintain that first ah! She said that, i didn't ! :) Had game after school, lost the game to Singapore Malays yeah!

 

 

If you could see closely ah! My right leg, the top part, swell sia! Fuck! It really hurts a lot sia! I can't walk properly sia! Really! It really hurts that bad! There were some arguments going around in the game and all ah! But the fact that, i am just more worried about the part where i lost and what if she wouldn't spend time with me the whole day sia! I am really freaking thinking about that sia! i dun wanna sound desperate la! My mum just had to piss me further sia!!! Come keep touching my the leg!!! ARGH!!!!!

 

Thanks cookie!!! I am more happy that i met you ma! :) Thanks sweets :) <3

School has finally started yeah! I wonder if its a good thing or a bad thing yeah! No more playing around, that i know yeah! Today, saw all my friends! hahas! It's nice to see them back all! Pei Yi, Yun Jia, Mummy( of course ) and all! :) It still takes time and all to settle down ah! School started at 9 sia! Waking up is the worse part! God damn it!!! Had to start out with lessons like elctronics and maths! Wah, shitty! But, it ended early for me and not for my classmates! Yay me! :) After that, i called my god bro along, he went to fetch me from his bike, to my house and back to school, had to watch my sis playing, had the girl's game today yeah against ITE!! hahas! He came to my house, my mum was there! It was nice! I was kinda delighted to introduce him to my mum! He is really such a nice guy :) HE FINALLY BOUGHT HIS BIKE!!! OMG!!! Jealous much! :) Patience giri :) Went for a run in school, with Sasi and Bing! The game was terrible sia! :( I dun wanna talk about it ah! Waste my time sia, though my sis was playing! hahahs! Was texting cookie! hehe :) I dun know why, i might have said things here and there! But i just can't resist talking to her ah! I'll just TRY MY VERY best to maintain this!!! I really kinda miss her and wish to see her soon! :( Oh well, i am hoping. . . But, not too much! hehe :) Still got more to come hehe :P

I think i've had my lesson yeah!!! Wait wait wait!!! Its not like some same all story where i tell, she rejects ah!!!! hehe! It seems i have been used for her entertainment yeah! I feel that way! I am tired of texting and stuff when someone seems bored and all! I've asked her, dun you get bored when you text me and all! Her no, its just a fake NO yeah!!! Really, she thinks by doing this stuff is normal to a guy. . .  BULLSHIT!!! Forgive me cookie! I thought you were a nice girl, i mean you are!!! But, it seems that your way of contact to a guy is different from what i feel!!! I am not gonna tell her nor talk to her about this! I am leaving it and taking this as a good lesson to be learnt!!! I am a person where i know my limits to a girl, i expect the same thing from the girl as well! But, with cookie, i was, she wasn't!!! She was very close!!! This made me think too much! Is it my fault? NO!!! All i know is, either your sis or your girlfriend does this kinda of so call, "being close"!!! I have limits to a friend!!! If its my fault cookie, i am sorry!!! Its me!!! I dun care what you think!!! I've always been frank to you and all! You know or pretend to know, i can't help it!!! Lets just assure that i am not the guy you think where i can take this type of being close as friendship!!! All i say is, think of what others might feel with your actions my dear! I am not saying you dun girl! Its just, you seem to have came across many guys and all, but, i am different ma! If i am not? Tell me! Honestly, i can't be angry to you! To all my friends who are girls, i usually am not! They scold, i won't retaliate ma! Its simple!!! You might have your facts rite! This is mine!!! :) I'll still always be there whenever you need someone to talk to or be with yeah! :) For the time being. . .  hahas! Nothing to say! :) Dun get me wrong that i am talking to you differently in front of you and behind you! Its not that girl!!! Its the same, if only i can tell you everything from A-Z, i'll be the happiest person on earth! But, when i meet you, you're always smiling and laughing, i can't afford to break that out! The moment when you cried through the webbie regarding your grandpa, affected me a lot! Yeah i know, why should it? I am a friend to you, i know! I have a soft soft ok, would anyone believe that, a guy would cry when a needle is injected to his skin though he is 19? No! Thats me!!! I am not as strong with my feelings and emotions as you think! You can ask why, there are some things that i've been through in the past to change me this way! ONLY! Mummy (simin) know! Once again, i deeply am sorry cookie, pls dun take it as i am faking to you and all! Your short tempered i know! If you just happen to read this, i am sorry! After reading this, i dunno whether you might still talk to me and all! I am ready to face it and whatever happens girl! I'll be still talking to you and your thoughts would always be in my mind girl :) NOT IN A GIRLFRIEND WAY AH! I just wanna make sure how i really feel about you!!! Pls dun change anything! Its me, who knows maybe other guys might prefer the way you are yeah! DEEPLY AND TRULY SORRY COOKIE!!!!!!! </3

What am i to say about today yeah?!
Let me first say what happened first yeah! I woke up at 6 am just to go some chilli paste by cutting the dry chillies and grinding them and all yeah! Its never easy alright, and can you imagine doing that early in the morning! Dun ask why? listen first! hehe! after that, i had to do some washing and all! then, started to do mee goreng and turned out well! I called cookie 5 times, she didnt pick up! The 6th time, i called she picked up, she was still sleeping, its was about 12 plus yeah! I told her to cal me back again as i told her to freshen up! It was about 2 plus, and i was damn pissed already, i called mummy ( simin ), went to meet her at Nex yeah! I told her everything, then cookie called me at like 245 and said she had fever!!! I COULDN'T be mad yeah!!! Really could not :( IN fact, i was very worried!!! I was suppose to meet cookie and go to the beach, pasir ris yeah! BUt it failed, i promised to give her mee goreng and she didnt turn up!!! Let me just ask something? Is it fair that the day went this way? I was FUCKING PISSED!!! I just wanted to scream at her, but i just can;t!! WHat can she do if she was having fever yeah! Tell me!!! I dunno if she would ever take me seriously yeah! Well, to her i am just her friend, i mean yeah! Its not wrong wad, i didnt propose to her! But i can't take her just a friend, i told her i had feelings for her! I wonder if she still remember that yeah! hahas! :P
Its sucks big time la! To be frank, my parents didnt ask me to cook, i cooked myself just for cookie! If i tell this to her, she might think that i am trying to impress her and all! Or, i am doing this because i am having feelings to her and stuff! I felt to shitty! I can't believe i woke up so early and did so many things, and expected so much!!! It just simply failed yeah! I am just feeling down rite now man!!! Oh god!!! Yet, i am still texting her nicely and stuff! hahas! Does she really mean much  to me? Why must i care so much about her? She is just a friend to me rite? or is she not?! OH GAWD!!! I HATE THIS FEELING!!!

After so long, i have been finally bloggin now! hahas! You know at times, i wonder if things are really meant to be like, how am i to say ah! I dun know sia! hehe! :P Anyway, holidays, now! POLITE is coming, my soccer tournament i mean, our class chalet just ended, was some how fun la! hehe! got a job at the retail place, called the home fix or something, hahas! Some houshold stuff la! Just assist, pay sucks but ok la! Not like its a full time thing, just need some money for my expenses yeah! hahas :P Trainings have been very intense this days and all! so yeah! You know, i just like, how to say ah! sometimes, i wonder if it is worth talkin to the same person all the time sia! Like, i dunno how to say ah! She appears alright one day, the next day like so shitty!!! hehe! Being honest here! hahas :P
Not being a bad ass la! I am always afraid that i might bore someone easily no matter what yeah! I am like that, i dunno why! hahahs :P
I always ask them, if i bore you anything, i mean i dunno la! If i bore them, or if they tell me, i will always try to entertain them somehow or i'll just ignore and move on la! hahas :P
Like i said, I was friends with this girl, its been 2 months plus la! So yeah! hahas! I told her directly, that i kinda have feelings for her and all, so she just replied saying that she wants to see how it goes in the flow yeah! hahas :) I just wonder if it goes well yeah! hahas! I kinda like being with her and all la! I didnt say i like or love her! She treats me as a friend still la! Not like end of the world ma! thats why! Hope things go smooth and all ah! hahas :P